- 2/16/26-2/18/26 - korean new year
- the importance & joy of having a family, having a community, a home is something i realized only lately..
- which is something weird?? it should have been something that hit close long time ago and i feel like im realizing this only lately. i got closer to my aunt (dad’s side) and i feel like she’s my best friend xD im actually grateful to have her because i just realized that she was supportive of me ever since i was a kid.. and now that i grew up i am actually capable of talking and conversing with her and hanging out.. just lots of good vibes.
- having family means that there will be people by your side no matter what. they are on your side.
- but my mothers side family…
- haha i rlly like the big-family meeting vibes. it’s so different from my father’s side family meetings (which is small and cozy).. my moms family meetings are so big. my big aunt and my small aunt and their husbands and their kids, and finally, grandma.
- While i rlly like the huge laughters and enthusiasm, what i dont like is how much i don’t have privacy lol. a word i share with my mom, in 5 mins it spreads like a virus and everyone knows it lol. i learned it the hard way ever since my parents found out that m dating lol, never repeating the same mistakes again (i should be mysterious)
- all these leads me to different thoughts
- having my own family… and or kids?? recently i think about the concept of having kids, and it does feel weird (but in a weird good way?) when i imagine a little leejun lol. but the process of being pregnant and giving birth still sounds alien and horrifying, so i don’t know. but the idea of having kids, and having my own family and starting my own home seems… heartwarming.
- do i still want the “american dream”..? if i get super lucky to find a good job that will sponsor my visa and thus a green card later down the line… i will be separated from my family… which right now doesn’t seem real but it might be. this also means that on holidays or korea’s national holidays or my parents birthdays… i won’t be by their side. now imagining this makes me ridiculously sad lol… so if it comes to the point where i have to decide one or the other… i don’t know which path i will pick, because i realized that i loved my family after all those years.